From an unnamed production office for an undisclosed television show in an address-withheld building in LA where the elevators are shockingly slow...
S is home sick today, so I'm strangely feeling the pressure to work doubly hard at my office. And- believe me- I am. First of all, I spent a lot of time with my coworker finding every "Lost" character's equivalent on "Real Housewives of New York City". Oh- And my coworker is not a woman, should his extensive working knowledge of the Real Housewives character catalog have you thrown. Here's what we came up with- follow me this far: Jacob is Jill Zarin!
Jill is kind of the leader of some sort of people... And she has lived on an island- Manhattan, you guys!- for some amount of time that I do not know and could look up, but can't imagine I will... And she... Has touched people! On the shoulder or arm or whatever. It's all clear. And LuAnn is Locke and Bethenny is Ben for obvious reasons (their names start with the same letters).
After I got that tough assignment out of the way, I peeled the label off a small container that once held feta cheese that I appropriated as a Tupperware to bring my sandwich. Then it was time to eat dinner.
So, S, I've got you covered. The collective American workforce will never know they were one short today. Not with me around.