May 11, 2010

"You Better Belize It" Is a Bad Pun

From an unnamed production office for an undisclosed television show in an address-withheld building in LA where the elevators are shockingly slow...

Ten days from now, I'm going to Belize.  Belize!  The real place and not a frat infested LA club named that which, as far as I know, doesn't exist but I can totally picture that it would and there would be rum and "Rain Forest Wet T-Shirt" contests on Wednesdays or whatever, and if by chance someone dragged me there I would look critically at the other girls and call them ruins, like Mayan ruins, which is why it would be funny.  But no- I'm going to the real and glorious country of Belize where my boss can't even e-mail me if she really, really needs something because this underpaid worker is shutting off her cell phone and all e-mails with it when she goes because that international plan stuff is way too expensive to pay for when all I anticipate getting is my daily Groupon e-mail.   

The problem, however, about being so excited to go on vacation is that I am so excited to go on vacation!  Like, so excited that I'm not getting anything done all day except deciding which dresses to pack and reading about sandwiches I could be eating... Eating on a beach!  The other problem with being so excited about this impending delight is that I sit in a room all day with people who are not going to Belize and so are already done listening to me talk about Belize, and also they don't even know anything about Belize so what could I possibly want with them anyway?  They're doing things during our time off like going to visit their families or bravely hiking a difficult trail for a week... But guess what: There are families and walking in Belize, and also that's where Belize is!

So, from now until ten days from now, every assignment I half-ass, and every Scrabble letter I play aren't for nothing.  No.  They are getting me one half-assed assignment and one Scrabble letter closer to a relaxing vacation where I don't have those kinds of stresses.  Hallelujah.


  1. K-

    Better get used to hearing (and seeing) "You better Belize it" because it's EVERYWHERE you go there! Your mind will be blown by the amount of neon t-shirts emblazoned with such ridiculous slogans. It's really "unbelizeable" (yes, another fabulous pun you will see everywhere).

    Regardless, you're going to have so much fun! I can't wait to hear all about it.

  2. Belize it or not, I'm walking on air...

    I Belize I can fly, I Belize I can touch the sky

    Do you BELIZE in life after love??

    Okay, I'll stop.

  3. Hi, K.
    While you're in Belize, please say hello to the other 70,000 Americans, to the whale sharks (if the moon is new), and to the Peanut-Head Lantern Bug, but not to El Sesimito.