May 20, 2010

That's Not Amore

From an unnamed university in the greater San Francisco Bay Area...

In a good-faith move on both of our parts, one of the guys in the office next door and I got lunch together today. We just walked across the street to the nearby pizza place, but because it's summer time now, we got BEER with our slices instead of water. We are crazy. Anyway, as we were walking into the restaurant, a couple of guys sitting by the window apparently checked me out.

Office neighbor was like "wow, you just totally got checked out by those dudes." I tried to pretend to be flustered and uncomfortable, when in reality I was very flattered. I mean, we work at a university. Those guys are probably younger than me. And I am wearing one my cuter shirts today. I was feeling great and I hadn't had one sip of lunchtime beer yet.

Well after we ordered and went to get a table, I happened to glance at the table of fellas by the window to find out that they were considerably older than me, as well as speaking Italian. Gross.

Now I have nothing against Italy or the good people who live there, but my limited experience in that country has taught me that Italian men will leer, whistle, wink at anything, thus completing deflating the little self-esteem bubble I had just blown up.

I remember my old roommate telling me that she and her sister gave the Italian men "whiplash" when they were in Rome and I could not stop myself from saying "um, they are the grossest men I have ever met and will literally look at anything female." Then she got mad at me. But my old roommate is a whole other blog.

Before I get called a racist agorophobe, I know not every single Italian man acts this way. Yes, your dad's from Italy and he's a perfect gentleman. Your Italian boyfriend only has eyes for you. I know. But a lot of Italian men are super into leering and making kissy noises at strange women, so it was not surprising to me that these dudes were all up in my Kool-Aid. It's in their DNA.

As they were leaving, they walked by our table and once again gave me a really creepy once-over, prompting my office neighbor to look at them in shock/disgust. "Wow, I have never seen anything like that. I mean, you're cute, but I would never turn to look at you as I walked past."

Look in fairness, I wouldn't look at me either, and if I'm honest here, I definitely would never look at him, but that comment sucked any last bit of air remaining in my self esteem bubble, which I am dedicating the rest of my day to refilling with beer. Happy Thursday.

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