Up on the I Wish

From an unnamed production office for an undisclosed television show in an address-withheld building in LA where the elevators are shockingly slow...

You know, it's pretty rare to have a moment of clarity so profound as I have had this week.  A truth has become so magically clear that I can't believe I didn't see it before.  What have I realized?  What has this great and powerful universe shown to me this week?  The universe has shown me that the reason that no part of my employee orientation included directions to the roof of my office building was because my boss was going to tempt me so enticingly to jump off of it as a pleasant alternative to dealing with her and the inane assignments that she creates that- could I find my way there and were my shoes comfortable enough- leaping from five stories would seem a pretty great option.  Now I'm not saying that I want to end it all- don't read me wrong- I'd just really like to get out of doing some dumb stuff.  And prove a point.  And take some sick days.  But alas.

The assignment that I'm dealing with this week that has me wanting to play failed Superman so badly is actually too boring to describe in words that anyone would be able to read without their face falling asleep, but I believe that it can be communicated in metaphor... 

It's as though the big boss of our show said off-handedly at a meeting last week that he would like a couple grains of sand for a show we've got coming up.  Then my immediate boss tasked my office mates and me with a job similar to going to the beach and bringing back, one by one, each individual grain of sand that the big boss ever stepped on.  And when the big boss got wind of this assignment he did not assign, he clarified and said the equivalent of, "No, no... Just take a quick trip down to the shore with your pails and shovels and bring me enough sand to make a small sand castle."  And then it was like my immediate boss ignored him, and insisted we keep gathering sand no one wants in a crushingly tedious way.  As if she sucked at life.  (She sucks at life).

But it must be done, and so I will do it.  At least until I figure out how to open a window.  (Note: That almost sounded like that optimistic expression about doors closing and windows opening.  Any allusion to a positive, reasonable attitude is unintentional.  I was talking about jumping.)