Though I would not call myself a scientist per se, I did conduct a serious experiment this past weekend as a group of friends and I celebrated my boyfriend's birthday. I set out to discover if one weekend can contain all the beer I would like to drink, all the ice cream I want to eat, and all the playing with Woody the Pup I can muster OR if one weekend can only contain so much fun (which could be a real property of, um, science). Because if one weekend can't hold it all, a good amount of the buzz and the yum and the fun won't have anywhere to go but into Monday. That's the simple principle of the conservation of liquid, the conservation of matter, and the conservation of delight. I took physics in high school in the nineties. I know what I'm saying.
So I really went for it, in the name of the birthday and in the name of science. And I'm not sure if this crushingly strong body/stomach ache is from my hang-over, my sugar high come down, or all that jumping around with the dog, but I am sure that science ruins everything. Stay out of school, kids. And just say no to Mondays.
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