April 7, 2010

Reunited, And It Feels So Good

From an unnamed university in the greater San Francisco Bay Area...

Officemate's back! She was gone Friday-yesterday and was like 15 minutes late today and I almost peed myself with concern that I had gotten her return date wrong.

Everyone else is excited to see her too. Since she's in charge of financial aid stuff, our students really get their panties in a twist if she's not available right when they need her. In the 15 minutes that she wasn't here this morning, two students came by, foaming at the mouth, shouting accusatorily "YOU SAID SHE'D BE BACK ON WEDNESDAY!"

Luckily, Officemate is cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce. "Hey, I just got in, I can't talk to you right now, let's make an appointment to talk later" she says in her soothing, rational voice that I bet she also uses with her five-year-old. It's like Jedi mind power, because you can actually see the students' blood pressure lowering as they dreamily reply, "Okkkayyyy, I'll be back after lunch...."

She's got 138 new emails, and who knows how many voicemails since I only answered her phone the one time, and a parade of whiny students demanding answers, but I want her attention all to myself. I've got 3 days worth of silly YouTube videos (Single Ladies Devastation, anyone?), NYT articles and "can you believe this guy?" anecdotes saved up to share with her and I'm really irritated that she's getting distracted with her actual job.

Since I started writing this post, I heated up my Greek Wrap from Whole Foods and it is SO GOOD. The warm feta with the brown rice is pure heaven. I don't need Officemate anymore; everything I'll ever need is inside this quickly-disappearing tortilla.

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