April 9, 2010

It's War!

From an unnamed university in the greater San Francisco Bay Area...

Finally! After 3 excellently well thought out and beautifully executed pranks on our next door office neighbors, today they retaliate with....a fart machine.

Yes, a fart machine.

I wasn't around our office much this morning; I had to attend a little awards ceremony for our students. When I came back, two of our workstudy students were jumping up and down, demanding that I stay in the room long enough to hear something that sounded like a duck quacking.

"Is there a duck in here?"
"No, we think it's a fart machine. It's been making that sound every 15 minutes."
"Those idiots."

I had another appointment and when I came back, Officemate had found the fart machine hidden behind a potted plant and had turned it off. We were indignant: a fart machine? A FART MACHINE?! Our pranks have required student cooperation, advance planning, costumes. We made AN AUDIO RANSOM NOTE for goodness sake. And they stick a FART MACHINE behind our plant? Amateurs.

We confronted them about the lameness of their prank and they claimed that they're just "warming up" for the truly sublime prank they've got coming down the pike and all they really wanted was for the fart machine to go off in the Dean's presence. Still, we're insulted and we've decided that we are going to go all out with as many complex pranks as possible before the end of the school year, when our focus will turn to incorporating more daytime drinking into our schedules.

I told my friend M about their prank fail and she replied "you should send them a male stripper!" We went as far as going online to price it out, but it's way too expensive, plus we realize it probably falls under the sexual harassment category.

So next on deck is the Noriega prank, and in the continuing "you two are in love" motif, we're having one our super-talented workstudies design a beautiful wedding invitation for their fake, but (in our minds) eventual, marriage. You know, once it's legal in this state.

ADDENDUM: After reading this post, M told me that I left out the funniest part of this anecdote and I've decided she's right. So when Officemate decided to price out male strippers for the ultimate prank, she simply Googled "male strippers." I was turning to look at her screen to see what she found just as she put both her hands in front of her computer and yelled "I got video! I GOT VIDEO!!!" You're welcome.

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