July 8, 2010


From an unnamed university in the greater San Francisco Bay Area...

Well today I had to say an unexpected goodbye. The girl who works at our little local market is moving away. She is very nice, but I am not terribly sad about her departure. I'm sure her replacement will be able to sell me kombucha tea and Kudos bars just as effectively.

But then men in my general vicinity must be beside themselves. Dudes LOVE this girl. She is very pretty. She's Asian, tall and thin with flawless skin and shiny hair, and the kicker: Rivers Cuomo glasses. She looks better in those black hipster glasses than anyone else I have ever seen or ever will see. I'd be jealous of the way men are putty in her hands if I wasn't so amused. If I am ever in the market in the presence of man, I know I will have to watch him try to flirt awkwardly with the poor girl, who clearly had no interest in being hit on, as well as not the world's best understanding of English.

Today was no exception. I was holding my Pomegranate White Tea and mini-Toblerone anxiously while he tried to chat her up. I caught the tail end of their conversation. I'm guessing she said that she is moving back to her home country shortly.

Guy: Well I'll have to come back soon to say a proper goodbye (translation: try to make out with you).
Girl: Actually, today is my last day.
Guy: Oh no! And you go back to Viet--nam?
Girl: South Korea.
Guy: Oh....yeah. Well it's been great getting to know you, I'll miss you around here (goes in for hug)
Girl: (goes in for handshake, accepts awkward side hug instead) Yes, goodbye.

Our goodbye was less awkward and one sided. I told her it had been nice seeing her everyday and she said she liked to see what beverage/treat combination I got each afternoon (I like to mix it up: my only rule is that I cannot get soda or a full-sized candy bar); I wished her a safe journey home and promised not to tell any of the men who work in my building that today was her last day. She smiled the smile of true relief that only a girl who is constantly bombarded with unwanted male attention must be capable of feeling and thanked me. Bitch.

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