June 2, 2010

Don't Stand So Close to Me

From an unnamed university in the greater San Francisco Bay Area...

There is literally nothing for me to write about anymore. My boss and her ridiculous antics are away in South Africa. The students and their cloying questions are gone until August. The guys next door aren't around. All of my best fodder has left the building. Officemate and I are shells of our former selves, sitting around, getting work done with no crazy shenanigans to keep us going.

Our office is currently getting painted so we're in the library with laptops, click-clicking away with no phone calls or random people stopping by to ask us for information that we make readily available in a multitude of forms. It's all very normal.

With no news on the office front, I ask this question instead: why isn't everyone on the same page with personal space? I get that personal space is a pretty American concept, as we have the luxury to actually demand space from those around us, but I live in America and am almost daily shocked by how up in your grill folks like to get.

Two examples from yesterday. 1) I went to Safeway to get some groceries around 9:30pm when the parking lot is pretty empty. I parked about 100 yards from the store with about 3 empty spaces next to me on either side. I come out maybe 2o minutes later and there's a car right next to mine. Why? Why people? You have so many other options!

2) I was at the gym yesterday, using the stationary bike. I love the gym in the summer because it's a university gym and most of the students are gone so I never have to wait for the machines I want. No, machines aplenty! This was the case yesterday and yet a dude came and sat down on the bike right next to mine. I gave him angry face and made passive aggressive sounds, but he didn't budge.

I'm trying to become a faster biker, so I was doing speed intervals and getting pretty sweaty and warm on the bike and did not appreciate someone else's body heat and potential sweat so close to my own. Given the choice, don't we all want to put a little distance between ourselves and strangers? Especially when they're sweaty?

"Maybe he thought you were cute!" you might be saying now. To this I say, no he didn't and I don't care. I do not get that sexy exercise glow that Cosmo swears will turn your guy on. I get beet red, I sweat like crazy, and I breathe really hard. I want the endorphins and I'm willing to do what I need to to get them. Also, he was not even mildly attractive and rode his exercise bike like some foppish Brit on the back of a tandem and I cannot stand for that.

Tomorrow we're supposed to go to IKEA to get our new office furniture. Hopefully I'll have a good field trip story to relay. Until then, back the hell off.

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