From an unnamed production office for an undisclosed television show in an address-withheld building in LA where the elevators are shockingly slow...
Ah, Wednesday, we meet again. I rarely think of you when you're not here, harbor no dread of you as I do with your colleague Monday, associate you with no joy as I do with your cohort Friday. But maybe that's how you got me, Wednesday. Maybe you've been lying in wait all these years so that toady, in my 27th year, you would rear your ugly day head and show me that you are a force, a terror, that I've been wrong to ignore you all this time. Let's review, Wednesday, what we've already been through in my five waking hours with you.
- I got up early to move my car out of the driveway so that I could move my boyfriend's car in. It's street cleaning day, and my boyfriend's out of town, so I thought I would try to get things in order before the construction guys working in the back house- who block me in every day- got in my way. But their truck was already there, directly in my car's path out of the driveway. They, however, were nowhere to be found, and I could do not one thing with either car. You got off to a quick start, Wednesday. Bold.
- Because of a number of crazy scheduling things that have to do with the out-of-town boyfriend, work starting an hour early (well, we'll get to that, right Wednesday?), a friend taking my dog for the day because I'll be gone forever, and my desire that my dog not destroy her house- It was imperative that I go to the dog park this morning, but also necessary that I be dressed in my work clothes when I went there, rather than my usual grubby morning-walk clothes. So of course I rushed to the dog park, and it was closed. Closed. Men were working in it, and I was at a complete loss to do anything active in my dumb office flats except let my dog loose on a baseball field and hope that he would chase after a bird and then, at some tired point, agree to come back to me.
- Since I chased the dog through that baseball field in an effort to tire him, when I dropped him at my friend's house he thought, I guess, that we were still playing that game and ran away from me over and over again when I needed to bring him inside. Also I almost fell when I finally did catch him, which is only important in that I looked stupid which was annoying.
- After rushing to work to do a quick assignment I didn't know how to do before our meeting an hour earlier than we usually meet, I sat at my desk for an hour waiting for the meeting to start. At least that gave me a chance to take the slowest elevator on earth back down to the parking garage to get my lunch that I left in my car.
- When the meeting was finally over, I dashed to the break room to get the morning bagels that they always put out on Thursdays. Because, as our show usually tapes on Thursdays, but this week is taping today, Wednesday, I got confused. And thought it was Thursday. Bagel day. I was starving, and there were no bagels because today is... well... I think you know.