Somebunny Loves You

From an unnamed university in the greater San Francisco Bay Area...

Being raised Catholic rarely pays off. Here's how I've found it useful:

1. Obscure Bible knowledge.
2. Funny Sunday School anecdotes. ("Dress Like Your Favorite Saint Day" is always a hit.)
3. Guilting people.

As you might imagine, 3 comes in handy the most often. Like today. Officemate brought in some leftover Easter candy, including a large chocolate bunny. She asked a workstudy to break the bunny into smaller chocolate pieces and leave them on a plate for people to eat. Cleverly, the workstudy put the box the bunny came in behind the plate, lest anyone not understand where the chocolate came from.

So all day, people have been coming to our office in search of candy and balking at the plate of segmented bunny, until I solemnly remind them that "that bunny died for you." This works especially well on Christians, as it was just Easter and they've been all about honoring someone that they believe died for them lately. But it's also been successful with people who don't believe in Jesus too! They either think it's funny or actually feel bad about the bunny's ultimate sacrifice and feel that eating a piece is the least they can do.

My parents, never terribly devout Catholics themselves, took me to church every Sunday until I was in high school because they thought it would shape my sense of morality. Joke's on them.

Hold me closer

From an unnamed university in the greater San Francisco Bay Area...

I am getting nothing done at work today. Not that this is super unusual or anything, but today it's not just caused by general malaise. No, it's because I totally scored tickets to an Alvin Ailey dance performance next week! I LOVE Alvin Ailey. I've only seen them once before live, but I got to take a Modern dance class at Alvin Ailey Extension this summer in New York. When I went to buy my pass for said class, the woman told me there was a deal where I could get a second class for very cheap. I told her no, thanks, I was heading back to California the next day. She said I could take class in California. I said "Oh I didn't know Ailey had a studio in California!" To which she replied, all huffy, "There is only one Alvin Ailey: in New York City." It was strange.

Anyway, the thing about getting tickets to Alvin Ailey next Thursday is that now all I can think about is seeing Alvin Ailey next Thursday. Not sending out emails, not editing documents, not even thinking of new ways to prank the guys next door. I mean, they're going to do a routine to STEVIE WONDER music. It's like they're coming here just for me. If there's a tall boy of Tecate and Cadbury mini eggs on my chair when I arrive, I'll have my answer.