Fast Food Nation

From an unnamed university in the greater San Francisco Bay Area...

Well yesterday was quite a drive. 10 hours in the car with my dad, from Vegas to the Bay Area. At least the drive from Colorado to Vegas was mostly beautiful. The drive from Vegas to San Francisco is mostly Bakersfield.

My dad's a pretty healthy eater, and while he wasn't willing to drive around looking for Farmer's Markets or vegan restaurants, we tried to do better than McDonald's while on the road. Quizno's and Rubio's both offer healthy menu options and became our road trip staples. They also became fodder for two of my funnier conversations on the trip.

At Rubio's:

S: I'd like a fish taco.
Rubio's girl: You mean our world famous fish taco?
S:.....yes?

No, I want your underground fish taco that no one's heard of. Also, I know Rubio's is a pretty popular chain, and I do like their fish tacos, but I feel pretty confident when I say that they are not actually world famous. I am in currently in the process of asking every person in the world if s/he has heard of Rubio's fish taco. I'll get back to you sometime before I die.

At Quizno's:

S (on her phone from the car): Could I have your exact street address please?
Quinzo's girl: Yes.
S: Will you tell me what it is?
Quizno's girl: Oh yeah sure, it's (paper ruffling) XXXX. Are you coming in?
S: Yes, we're nearby, but are just having trouble finding you.
Quizno's girl: Oh yeah, we're not actually visible from the street.

And why would you be really, Quizno's? You definitely want to maintain that aura of mystique and exclusivity that you're so known for. Well, you're doing a heckuva job because my dad and I were at your store for half an hour at lunch time and saw no other patrons. Way to keep it old school.

I'd like to say that now that I'm back in my unnamed Bay Area university, I'm surrounded with a higher level of employee competence than I experienced on the road, but everyone who's read this blog (Hi, K's mom!) knows that I'd be lying.

Spring break, woo!

From an unnamed university in the greater San Francisco Bay Area...

First of all, let's get real, how damn catchy is that Lady Gaga/Beyonce song? I CRAVE it. "Stop calling, stop calling, I don't wanna talk anymore..." I appreciate both the beat and the message. I am also sorry this post is so late; I am officially on spring break and therefore constantly down at Senor Tadpoles getting drinks made in my mouth while trying my hardest to get on Girls with Low Self-Esteem.

Right now I'm visiting my parents in another undisclosed location and had an altercation with the lady at the local deli that has inspired me to write my second open letter to the incompetent, annoying, entitled, or otherwise unpleasant people of the world:

Dear Safeway Deli Counter Lady,

I understand that working at the Safeway deli counter is not the most glamorous or desirable job, but it is, in fact, your job, so you might consider getting slightly better at it. And not looking at me like I'm absolutely insane when I order a sandwich from you. I'm sure you have the soul of an artist and were put on this planet to do beautiful things, but you're here at Safeway to make sandwiches.

Your sincerely,
S

PS: Damn it, woman, I said NO MAYO!